It Takes Insanity (to Topple a God)
by cywscross
Summary: "You want to wage a war against the Capital?" "No, just Aizen." "And that's better how? There are two of you." "...Well, we have you now. That's three." "Oh, that solves everything then. I'm so relieved." Ichigo doesn't know what he was thinking when he decided to help out Captain Rukia of the Airship Sea Swallow.


**Disclaimer: I do not own anything from Bleach.**

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**General Warnings:** AU, language, violence, steampunk!AU, pirate!AU, really just elements of each

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**Summary:** "You want to wage a war against the Capital?" "No, just Aizen." "And that's better how? There are two of you." "...Well, we have you now. That's three." "Oh, that solves everything then. I'm so relieved." Ichigo doesn't know what he was thinking when he decided to help out Captain Rukia of the Airship _Sea Swallow_.

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**Author's Notes:** I'm keeping these short. There'll be an overarching plot, but I want to experiment with much shorter chapters. My teachers at school all say I have a problem with keeping pieces of writing under two thousand words so this could be considered practice. Just for fun.

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**Chapter 1**

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"Renji! Renji!" Rukia tugged impatiently at the redhead's shirt to draw his attention away from a pair of scantily-clad women across the rowdy bar. "Look over there!"

"What?" Renji huffed, looking annoyed as he reluctantly turned his eyes away from said women whom Rukia was sure he wouldn't have a snowball's chance in hell with anyway. "I told you already – if someone's hittin' on you, and you don't like it, hit them back. Literally."

Rukia rolled her eyes and gestured discreetly at one of the tables about half a dozen feet away. "No, it's not that. Doesn't that man look like... _him_?"

Renji stiffened, and his gaze quickly scanned the direction that Rukia was pointing at. Rukia knew the exact moment that the redhead caught sight of the person she was talking about. "...Holy _shit_, he does. Change the hair... and the eyes... But the Shibas were wiped out, weren't they?"

The last bit was said in a low murmur in case anyone was trying to eavesdrop. Rukia shrugged, still peering at the orange-haired man lounging lazily in a wooden chair with a bottle of whiskey in hand. He was wearing a white open-collared shirt with rolled up sleeves coupled with a pair of worn but comfortable-looking black trousers with the ends disappearing into dark calf-high boots. "Maybe some escaped? Let's go talk to him."

Renji snagged the back of her dress before she could take more than a step in the stranger's direction.

"No way; are you crazy?!" Renji hissed. "We're here to look for crew members, and that doesn't include diving headfirst into an interrogation with the first Shiba-lookalike we can find! We already stick out like sore thumbs here, you more than me. The last thing we need is to cause a scene!"

Rukia scowled defensively but couldn't help glancing down at herself. After they had fled the Capital, she had picked out a simple ocean-coloured dress, along with a pair of short thick-heeled boots. A blue silk scarf wrapped snuggly around her neck, and a wide-brimmed navy blue hat adorned her head.

In comparison, Renji had pilfered a white short-sleeved shirt with a brown dragon-skin vest thrown overtop, dark trousers that reached below the knee secured with a belt, and a pair of closed-toe sandals.

So neither of them looked _that_ out of place, did they? True, neither she nor Renji could recall much of their childhood spent in Rukongai since they had both been taken into Seireitei at a very young age after Rukia's sister had married an Aristocrat from the Capital but everyone in the districts wore whatever they wanted, depending on taste and how much they could afford. While she and Renji had been raised with the upbringing of the wealthy, surely they didn't stick out _that_ badly.

"Well," Rukia said stoutly, hands coming up to rest on her hips. "We can ask him if he wants to join our crew."

This earned her a highly dubious look as Renji glanced from her to the stranger and back again. "We don't know anything about him! Is he even capable-"

At that moment, a drunkard came staggering up to the orange-haired stranger, gesturing clumsily at the bottle in the man's hand while posturing arrogantly as best he could in his inebriated state, and when the drunk was inevitably rebuffed with a sharp word and a narrow amber-eyed stare, he staggered forward instead, fists swinging.

Half a second later, the drunkard was groaning several feet away on the ground, broken arm cradled against his chest as the orange-haired man returned to his drink without another glance down at his would-be assaulter.

"I'd say yes," Rukia commented cheerfully with a grin up at the gaping redhead. "Come on, Renji, we came to this bar to see if anyone stands out in the first place, and _he_ definitely stands out, even without the hair. Let's just go talk to him; no harm in that."

"Does he even know anything about flyin' an airship?" Renji grumbled one last time but sighed and relented, following Rukia towards the bright-haired stranger.

"Um, excuse me," Rukia injected as much confidence as she could into her words. A voice in her head that sounded alarmingly like her brother-in-law's berated her for starting the conversation at all with 'um'.

The man in front of her didn't bother turning around as he tipped his head back and surveyed first her and then Renji with disinterested eyes. The gold earring dangling from his right ear winked under the dim lights of the bar when he shifted. "What?"

Feeling slightly discouraged but not surprised, Rukia forged on determinedly. "I am Rukia Kuchiki, and this is Renji Abarai. My friend and I are looking to assemble a crew. We already have a ship but we need more people. Would you happen to be interested?"

The man stared for a long moment before a mocking smirk curled at his lips, one that startled Rukia a bit because _he_ had never looked so condescendingly at her. Behind her, she felt Renji bristle in reflex.

"Now why," The man enquired disdainfully in a low tenor. "Would a couple of Elites be looking for a crew all the way out here in the slums? You 'Crats running out of competent hands or something?"

Rukia started, and she could almost hear Renji's 'I told you so'. "I- We're not- How did you know we're not from... around here?"

The man scoffed, heaving a sigh before tossing back a gulp of alcohol from his already half-empty bottle. "You've got eyes on you, Little Miss. _Everybody_ here can tell. You hold yourself differently, you don't slouch, and you've been wrinkling your nose at the smell in this place ever since you walked in. Plus you've got that high-class accent that all 'Crats from the Capital has, not to mention you just introduced yourself as a Kuchiki. Everyone knows the Kuchikis. Your friend fits in a little better with those tattoos of his but he's got the same feel you do. Not to mention," He craned his head around and glanced down with a derisive snort. "You two carry your Zanpakutou around where everyone and their grandma can see. Are you _trying_ to get yourselves mugged?"

Rukia clicked her mouth shut from where it had been hanging a little, and her hand instinctively moved to the hilt of her weapon in a protective stance. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Renji glancing around with a hard frown, and now that she was paying attention, she could see quite a few shady characters eyeing them with undisguised greed. "What do you mean? Where else are we supposed to carry our Zanpakutou?"

The man rolled his eyes and downed the rest of his whiskey. "You hide it, Princess. Most women would condense 'em behind a seal and hide them between their breasts; don't ask me why but it's an easy place for them to reach."

He paused to give Rukia's now red face and Renji's wordless spluttering a sardonically amused look before continuing. "Out in these parts, nobody in their right mind waves a neon sign around to tell the world what sort of protection they have on them. Not unless they want to pick a fight of course. Weapons, especially Zanpakutou, are in high demand on the black market. If you don't wanna die, I suggest you tuck it away where no one can see it. And don't go flinging your name around like candy. Both of those things go for Pineapple-head over there too."

Renji's head snapped back around fast enough to nearly give him whiplash, and the redhead took a menacing step forward as he glared aggressively at the orange-haired man. "What was that?!"

The man just smirked back, unconcerned. "Don't get your knickers in a bunch, Pineapple. It's just some friendly advice."

"Thank you," Rukia cut in before Renji could shout an insult back. She laid a hand on his arm in warning, and while the redhead continued glowering, he also grudgingly subsided. "For the advice. We _are_ from Seireitei but we left."

She stopped when the man arched an eyebrow, but continued when he didn't say anything. "We want to make a living out here now-"

"As _pirates_?" The man did interrupt this time, his other eyebrow rising. "Bit of a career change there, don't you think? An airship crew out in Rukongai usually means you're going into piracy, and you 'Crats _arrest_ pirates for a living." He paused, and his mouth twisted into an oddly bitter line. "Nevermind the fact that you've got crews of your own that've done a bit of piracy in the name of justice. Hypocrites."

Rukia's first reaction was to protest but she stopped herself, exchanging a glance with Renji. The man wasn't wrong. That was part of the reason they had left the corruption of the Capital behind after all.

Among other things.

"Well, we don't want any part in that anymore," Rukia said firmly. "And flying airships and aerial combat is mostly what we know, but we do need a crew. We could use any help we can get. Will you join us?"

"Hmm," The man eyed her speculatively. "What's your 'ultimate goal' then, Princess? You just out for an adventure or are you looking for something more?"

Rukia hesitated at that shrewd observation. She wasn't sure how much she should say on that, especially to someone who hadn't agreed to join them yet.

The man smirked once more, getting to his feet with a panther-like grace, one hand reaching down to pick up a duffel bag that had been tucked under the table. "Maa, none of my business I suppose. No thanks, Princess; I have a feeling that running with your crew will only lead to trouble, and I have enough of that walking down the street. Best of luck though. Oh, and I'll take this as compensation for the advice I gave you."

And right in front of Rukia's shocked eyes, the man flourished a money pouch that – upon a few seconds' scrutiny – used to be tied to the sash around her waist, and with a last wicked grin, he sauntered away into the crowd, throwing back a jaunty, "Everything in this world has a price, Princess. You'd do well to remember that."

Rukia patted the pockets of her dress frantically even as Renji swore loudly from beside her. To her relief, the additional wallet she had was still there, and most of their money was locked away in a chest back on their ship.

"Damn it!" Renji growled, visibly seething. "Want me to go after that bastard?"

"No, it's fine," Rukia sighed with disappointment. "It's my fault anyways; we're not- we're not very prepared, are we? Come on, I need to buy one of those seals he was talking about. I'm not walking around with my Zanpakutou out any longer than I have to, and neither are you."

Renji scratched his head as they made for the door. "...You're not gonna hide it between your boobs though, are you?"

Rukia flushed and jammed an elbow into Renji's side, causing the redhead to double-over in pain. "NO, YOU PERVERT!"

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